I remember spending hours on social media.. google... etc . Trying to find just a small glimmer of hope that their was someone out there feeling what I was feeling .. having the same thoughts as myself ..
You know that feeling when you receive bad news and although your surrounded by all who love you.. you still feel as though the whole room goes dark and you have been singled out and defined as being different; only due to no one to relate those feelings with...
From that moment I vowed that no one should feel alone...
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 35... she sadly passed away at the age of 45. My aunt was also diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 40.. she also sadly passed away a few years later. My grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer at 70 and is a survivor. This all happened in 2008, a year of loss, sadness, and a broken family.
I have lived through cancer on the sidelines until 2011 when I tested for the BRCA mutation also known as a hereditary cancer gene. I tested negative. With this result I moved forward and had a family enjoying all the little things life had to offer.
In 2017 I tested again since there had been advancements and this time with my aunt's positive diagnoses of BRCA in hand. My reason for testing again was credited to my OBGYN who felt strongly I tested with having such a strong family history. Well he was right, I then tested positive.. yes a negative positive.
Meaning I was now over 80% probable of getting breast cancer in my life time, and over 40% ovarian cancer. Since that day I knew what my future would be if I didn't take preventative action, secretly I had been preparing for this moment since the day I lost my mom. All I knew was that I needed to break the cycle. So I have decided to save my own life at the age of 35 with a double mastectomy following expanders, the same age my mother was diagnosed. No way was I going to allow my family to go through that pain again, I also wanted to spread awareness and share my journey along the way. So I decided to document and blog my whole story. No more hiding or burying the past, the band-aid has been ripped off and there is no going back. I was chosen for a reason.. I would not allow my mom Dalilah and my Tia Xochitls legacy to fade away, nor allow hereditary cancer to become a silent fact. Don't get me wrong, it has been an emotional roller-coaster and a mental battle of allowing myself to not be ok in front of everyone. I am learning who I am all over again, and also learning to love myself through it all.
I am BRCA and all that it is...
My mother believed in hope.. so in order to continue her strength and bravery.. I have become my families trailblazer. I am scared and I am also strong. I am sad and I am also brave. I am confused but I also seek answers. I am lost, but I also find hope. Hope to give others strength to fight for what they believe in.. TO LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT CANCER
On November 16th of 2018 I will become a previvor !!! I cannot wait to wake up and whisper... I DID IT! WE DID IT!! Because it takes an army ~Ohana